10 Ways to Blow It with Your Ex - Get your ex back

Trying to get back with your ex is like walking a tight rope - lean too far in one direction and you’ll instantly lose all of your progress.  There is a reason things ended in a breakup, and it will take a healthy dose of confidence and creativity to patch things up.

It certainly isn’t impossible to make your ex fall in love with you again, but you can dramatically increase your chances by avoiding the top 10 mistakes listed below.

10.  Using Threats
Remember when your parents would make you kiss your grandma?  There was something about the forced affection that made it a little “icky”.  Well the same principle applies to your ex.  The more you try to make them do something, the faster they will run in the other direction.

9.  Begging and Pleading
Not only does this tactic very rarely work, but it also manages to completely destroy all of your confidence and self-esteem.  Your ex will be embarrassed by how weak you're acting, and your friends will find it just plain pathetic.

8.  Getting Blind Drunk
We’re all entitled to one night of drinking our sorrows away, but any more than that is definitely going to be counterproductive to winning back love.  Alcohol vastly increases your chances of saying or doing something stupid.  The odds are already against you – you can’t afford to make it worse. You really dont want to go making a stupid phone call that you wont remember, and will probably regret!

7.  Over Apologizing
This is a tricky one…especially if you know the whole mess is your fault.  The key is to apologize with some dignity.  It is definitely OK to say you’re sorry, but avoid taking the blame for everything that was wrong with your relationship (see Mistake #9).

6.  Trashing Friends
Your ex’s friends will undoubtedly turn against you after a breakup.  They are going to side with their comrade no matter what.  But be careful not to let their gossiping get you fired up.  Trash talking about them will only make things worse.  You need more support (not more enemies) if you are going to succeed at winning back your ex.

5.  Settling for Less
No one is going to be jealous of you for hooking up with the neighborhood tramp.  Keep your standards high and prove to your ex that they are the only one on your radar.  Avoiding Mistake #8 will make this a lot easier.

4.  Bringing Down the Party
No one enjoys being around people who are acting depressed, primarily because it brings them down too.  You can depend on your friends for some support, but if you want them to stick around, then you have to learn to help yourself as well.  We all know the person who rambles on about their ex at every opportunity – don’t let it be you.

3.  Low Blows
Telling everyone embarrassing stories about your ex or spreading rumors will make you feel good in the short term, but it is guaranteed to come back to haunt you.  The “he said/she said” game can take the smallest flake of snow and turn it into an avalanche.  You've heard the old saying: “If you don’t have something nice to say, then don't say anything."

2.  Using the F-Word
You are going to have to start at the bottom once you start rebuilding your relationship, and it is very important for your ex to know that the ultimate goal is getting back together.  For this reason you need to avoid using the word “friends”.  Every time your relationship is described as a friendship pushes it in the wrong direction.  You have to start somewhere, but do your best to keep the passion alive.

1.  Letting Yourself Go
Nothing increases the odds against getting your ex back like adding 20 pounds, dying your hair red, or otherwise giving up on your appearance.  This is the time to look your best.  Start working out, get some new clothes, and focus on improving yourself.  You need to show the world what your ex is missing.

So there you have it - ten simple things to avoid when trying to get back with your ex.  Now that you know what NOT to do, you can turn your attention to what you should do.  Start by building a creative long term strategy with small goals to meet each day. If you're having trouble creating your own long term strategy, check out a great guide here.